If you struggle with mental health issues, I’m sure you have come across dozens of posts telling you what you should be doing for your mental health.
But what about the things we shouldn’t be doing.
Below I have listed 3 things you should quit doing for your mental health and actionable steps to take. Your mental health is important and sometimes we have to challenge ourselves and our beliefs to overcome our mental illness.
Trying To Please Others
Coming from the former biggest people pleaser ever (AKA me), I know first hand how hard it is to stop trying to please others. If you regularly sacrifice your time for things you don’t want to do or feel bad saying no to someone, you may be a fellow people pleaser.
For years I put others before myself to the point where it began to effect my mental health.
Don’t get me wrong, its nice to be kind and helpful but you have to put boundaries in place. People will push your generosity too far and learning to say no will change your life.
Start by thinking back over the past month and answer the following questions.
- When have you done something you didn’t want to?
- When have you put others before your own needs?
- Why did you feel the need to say yes?
- Who do you know that takes advantage of your generosity?
From these answers, you have flagged up situations that you often find yourself unwillingly dragged into for someone elses benefit. When you find yourself in these situations again, think of yourself and your own needs.
Put yourself first.
Putting Yourself Down
Putting ourselves down has become such a common thing that we hardly notice it. How many times have you undervalued yourself and your talents? Or turned down someones compliment.
These little self-insults that we miss are wrapped in the negative, limiting beliefs. Getting to the root of these negative beliefs will help raise your self-confidence and self esteem.
Limiting beliefs are phrases that we have come to believe about ourselves over time. Limiting beliefs are often accountable for your feelings of fear.
So, how do we take the power from our limiting beliefs.
Grab a pen and paper, we’re going to get creative.
Divide the paper with a line down the center.
On the first half of the paper, make a list of all the beliefs you have about yourself. It will be difficult to begin with but as you get deeper into the exercise, it will become easier.
For example these beliefs could be:
- I am not a good person
- My problems are not as important as others
- I don’t try because I am afraid I’ll fail
Once you have identified some of your limiting beliefs (I hate to tell you this put more will pop up over time) on the opposite half of the paper or double page spread, we’re going to challenge these beliefs. Take each individual, limiting belief and ask yourself why you believe this. Then list 4 truths or experiences that counteract this belief.
Identifying your limiting beliefs is the first step to not putting yourself down. You need to work on your limiting beliefs by changing the way you see yourself using affirmations and journaling.
Change is such a huge part of our lives but for many it is also an overwhelming fear. Whether you’re starting a new job, a new relationship or moving house, change can be a scary thing.
Overcoming your fear of change isn’t easy. You have to constantly work on your fear and challenge yourself every time it arises. With time and practice, it will be easier it will become. Once you learn how to deal with change, you’ll start to see the benefits of change and embrace it.
Want to start working on your fear of change? Start small. For example, if you mostly wear black clothing, add a splash of colour into your wardrobe. Start will small changes and eventually, you’ll be able to take on bigger changes.
What negative habits have you quit doing that have improved your mental health? Comment below!
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